George Carlin

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces read more

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.

I don't have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.

I don't have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his read more

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set read more

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."