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Maxioms by George Carlin

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I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to read more

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to form my own opionions.

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Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck

by George Carlin Found in: Alcohol Quotes,
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  22  /  30  

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is read more

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

by George Carlin Found in: Driving Quotes,
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... And what about Zombies? You never hear from Zombies! That's the trouble with Zombies, they're unreliable! I say if read more

... And what about Zombies? You never hear from Zombies! That's the trouble with Zombies, they're unreliable! I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well..

by George Carlin Found in: Zombies Quotes,
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The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity

The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity

by George Carlin Found in: Advertising Quotes,
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