George Carlin

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.

Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!

Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.