Any girl can be glamorous; all you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

Any girl can be glamorous; all you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and read more

Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with

Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then they turn read more

Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then they turn full-bodied with age until they go sour and vinegary and give you a headache.

A man's as old as he's feeling. A woman as old as she looks.

A man's as old as he's feeling. A woman as old as she looks.

A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.

A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is read more

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

Men represent the triumph of mind over morals, whereas women represent the triumph of matter over mind.

Men represent the triumph of mind over morals, whereas women represent the triumph of matter over mind.

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

Remarriage: A triumph of hope over experience.

Remarriage: A triumph of hope over experience.