There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then they turn read more

Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then they turn full-bodied with age until they go sour and vinegary and give you a headache.

Remarriage: A triumph of hope over experience.

Remarriage: A triumph of hope over experience.

Any girl can be glamorous; all you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

Any girl can be glamorous; all you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

Women and cats do as they damned well please, and men and dogs had best learn to live with it.

Women and cats do as they damned well please, and men and dogs had best learn to live with it.

Men naturally despise those who court them, but respect those who do not give way to them.

Men naturally despise those who court them, but respect those who do not give way to them.

A man's as old as he's feeling. A woman as old as she looks.

A man's as old as he's feeling. A woman as old as she looks.

A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.

A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.