The guy with the biggest stomach will be the first to take off his shirt at a baseball game.

The guy with the biggest stomach will be the first to take off his shirt at a baseball game.

Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken.

Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken.

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to save read more

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base.

I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they study this read more

I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball.

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night read more

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it.

Baseball is a lot like life. The line drives are caught, the squibbles go for base hits. It's an unfair read more

Baseball is a lot like life. The line drives are caught, the squibbles go for base hits. It's an unfair game.

All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay. Bring me read more

All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.'

Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you.

Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you.

It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf read more

It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.