All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay. Bring me read more

All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.'

Fans don't boo nobodies.

Fans don't boo nobodies.

I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they study this read more

I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball.

Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you.

Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you.

The guy with the biggest stomach will be the first to take off his shirt at a baseball game.

The guy with the biggest stomach will be the first to take off his shirt at a baseball game.

It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf read more

It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

When I was a small boy growing up in Kansas, a friend of mine and I went fishing and as read more

When I was a small boy growing up in Kansas, a friend of mine and I went fishing and as we sat there in the warmth of a summer afternoon on a riverbank we talked about what we wanted to do when we grew up. I told him that I wanted to be a real major-league baseball player, a genuine professional like Honus Wagner. My friend said that he'd like to be President of the United States. Neither of us got our wish.

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many players read more

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many players on the field?

Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. Home plate don't move.

Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. Home plate don't move.