All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay. Bring me read more

All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.'

Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken.

Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken.

The guy with the biggest stomach will be the first to take off his shirt at a baseball game.

The guy with the biggest stomach will be the first to take off his shirt at a baseball game.

When I played ball, I didn't play for fun... It's no pink tea, and mollycoddles had better stay out. It's read more

When I played ball, I didn't play for fun... It's no pink tea, and mollycoddles had better stay out. It's a contest and everything that implies, a struggle for supremacy, a survival of the fittest.

Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. Home plate don't move.

Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. Home plate don't move.

Baseball is a lot like life. The line drives are caught, the squibbles go for base hits. It's an unfair read more

Baseball is a lot like life. The line drives are caught, the squibbles go for base hits. It's an unfair game.

Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching.

Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching.

When I was a small boy growing up in Kansas, a friend of mine and I went fishing and as read more

When I was a small boy growing up in Kansas, a friend of mine and I went fishing and as we sat there in the warmth of a summer afternoon on a riverbank we talked about what we wanted to do when we grew up. I told him that I wanted to be a real major-league baseball player, a genuine professional like Honus Wagner. My friend said that he'd like to be President of the United States. Neither of us got our wish.

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many players read more

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many players on the field?