Show me a guy who's afraid to look bad, and I'll show you a guy you can beat every time.

Show me a guy who's afraid to look bad, and I'll show you a guy you can beat every time.

Fans don't boo nobodies.

Fans don't boo nobodies.

All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay. Bring me read more

All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.'

When I was a small boy growing up in Kansas, a friend of mine and I went fishing and as read more

When I was a small boy growing up in Kansas, a friend of mine and I went fishing and as we sat there in the warmth of a summer afternoon on a riverbank we talked about what we wanted to do when we grew up. I told him that I wanted to be a real major-league baseball player, a genuine professional like Honus Wagner. My friend said that he'd like to be President of the United States. Neither of us got our wish.

Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken.

Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken.

Slump? I ain't in no slump... I just ain't hitting.

Slump? I ain't in no slump... I just ain't hitting.

It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf read more

It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

They say some of my stars drink whiskey. But I have found that the ones who drink milkshakes don't win read more

They say some of my stars drink whiskey. But I have found that the ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ballgames.

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night read more

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it.