I told him, 'Son, what is it with you: Is it ignorance or apathy?'
He said, 'Coach, I don't read more

I told him, 'Son, what is it with you: Is it ignorance or apathy?'
He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'
(on a former player)

Football is violence and cold weather and sex and college rye.

Football is violence and cold weather and sex and college rye.

Don't park in the spaces marked, "Reserved for Umpires.".

Don't park in the spaces marked, "Reserved for Umpires.".

I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot.
(on his decision not to read more

I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot.
(on his decision not to vote)

It's basically the same, just darker.
(on racing Saturday nights as opposed to Sunday afternoons, 1991)

It's basically the same, just darker.
(on racing Saturday nights as opposed to Sunday afternoons, 1991)

Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.

Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.

Raise the urinals.
(on how management could keep the Braves on their toes)

Raise the urinals.
(on how management could keep the Braves on their toes)

How can we hope to remain economically competitive in a world in which... 90% of Dutch high-school students take advanced read more

How can we hope to remain economically competitive in a world in which... 90% of Dutch high-school students take advanced math courses and 100% of teachers in Germany have double majors, while the best we can say about our pocket of excellence is that 75% of [American] students have learned to critique tactfully?.

I'm not an athlete. I'm a professional baseball player.

I'm not an athlete. I'm a professional baseball player.