If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

Football is violence and cold weather and sex and college rye.

Football is violence and cold weather and sex and college rye.

But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
(telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's read more

But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
(telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books)

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich read more

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

[He] called me a 'rapist' and a 'recluse'. I'm not a recluse.

[He] called me a 'rapist' and a 'recluse'. I'm not a recluse.

You know they're not going to lose 162 consecutive games.

You know they're not going to lose 162 consecutive games.

I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids read more

I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me.
(on being a role model)

Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious.

Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious.

If I weren't earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in read more

If I weren't earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming.