I'll always be Number 1 to myself.

I'll always be Number 1 to myself.

The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

If I weren't earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in read more

If I weren't earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming.

Are you any relation to your brother Marv?
(spoken to announcer Steve Albert)

Are you any relation to your brother Marv?
(spoken to announcer Steve Albert)

There is one word in America that says it all, and that word is, 'You never know.'

There is one word in America that says it all, and that word is, 'You never know.'

That's why I don't talk. Because I talk too much.

That's why I don't talk. Because I talk too much.

I'm not allowed to comment on lousy officiating.

I'm not allowed to comment on lousy officiating.

I don't like this new law, because your first instinct when you see a man on the ground is to read more

I don't like this new law, because your first instinct when you see a man on the ground is to go down on him

If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to read more

If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.