The only one who can beat me is me.

The only one who can beat me is me.

He's tough [Tiger Woods]. I wish I was that tough when I was his age.

He's tough [Tiger Woods]. I wish I was that tough when I was his age.

I'm a golfer -- not an athlete.

I'm a golfer -- not an athlete.

He's in the mold of a Tom Watson, in that he'll hit the ball in the trees and undaunted go read more

He's in the mold of a Tom Watson, in that he'll hit the ball in the trees and undaunted go it there, flail it out and make something out of it.

I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids read more

I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me.
(on being a role model)

He's going to be around a long, long time, if his body holds up. That's always a concern with a read more

He's going to be around a long, long time, if his body holds up. That's always a concern with a lot of players because of how much they play. A lot of guys can't handle it. But it looks like he can.

Don't park in the spaces marked, "Reserved for Umpires.".

Don't park in the spaces marked, "Reserved for Umpires.".

But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
(telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's read more

But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
(telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books)

It's a nice bonus but, you know, I have to pay taxes too.
(after winning the Grand Slam Cup.)

It's a nice bonus but, you know, I have to pay taxes too.
(after winning the Grand Slam Cup.)