I was showing early symptoms of becoming a professional baseball man. I was lying to the press.

I was showing early symptoms of becoming a professional baseball man. I was lying to the press.

But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
(telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's read more

But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
(telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books)

I'm a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife.

I'm a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife.

Every time you go out on the ice, there are slight flaws. You can always think of something you should read more

Every time you go out on the ice, there are slight flaws. You can always think of something you should have done better. These are the things you must work on.

They pay me to practice. Sundays I play for free.
(explaining his contractual obligations)

They pay me to practice. Sundays I play for free.
(explaining his contractual obligations)

I'll be back.
(five days after being pummeled in his fight with Mike Tyson.)

I'll be back.
(five days after being pummeled in his fight with Mike Tyson.)

If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better read more

If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is.

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a read more

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.