You know it's going to hell when the best rapper out there is white and the best golfer is black.

You know it's going to hell when the best rapper out there is white and the best golfer is black.

I never looked at the consequences of missing a big shot... when you think about the consequences you always think read more

I never looked at the consequences of missing a big shot... when you think about the consequences you always think of a negative result.

I don't like this new law, because your first instinct when you see a man on the ground is to read more

I don't like this new law, because your first instinct when you see a man on the ground is to go down on him

It wasn't as easy as you think. It's hard to stay awake that long.
(after his team had defeated read more

It wasn't as easy as you think. It's hard to stay awake that long.
(after his team had defeated Whitman 70-30)

I lost it in the sun!
(after fumbling a grounder.)

I lost it in the sun!
(after fumbling a grounder.)

Don't park in the spaces marked, "Reserved for Umpires.".

Don't park in the spaces marked, "Reserved for Umpires.".

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.

Most skiers are really motorcyclists in cute clothes.

Most skiers are really motorcyclists in cute clothes.

They say that the best defense is offense, and I intend to start offending right now.

They say that the best defense is offense, and I intend to start offending right now.