Sometimes party loyalty asks too much.

Sometimes party loyalty asks too much.

The best system is to have one party govern and the other party watch.

The best system is to have one party govern and the other party watch.

All parties without exception, when they seek for power, are varieties of absolutism.

All parties without exception, when they seek for power, are varieties of absolutism.

Poverty and War have no excuse.

Poverty and War have no excuse.

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care read more

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change… I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.

A cure for War? Furiously spending the same daily amount of money toward making friends. Being an indispensable source of read more

A cure for War? Furiously spending the same daily amount of money toward making friends. Being an indispensable source of food, shelter, peace, and cultural support dedicatedly spending 9 billion dollars a month on helping people would be a formidable enemy of evil.

I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends.... That if they will top telling read more

I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends.... That if they will top telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.

I know my Republican friends were glad to see my wife feeding an elephant in India. She gave him sugar read more

I know my Republican friends were glad to see my wife feeding an elephant in India. She gave him sugar and nuts. But of course the elephant wasn't satisfied.

When you invite the whole world to your party, inevitably someone pees in the beer.

When you invite the whole world to your party, inevitably someone pees in the beer.