A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.

I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

If ever two were one, then surely we. If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.

If ever two were one, then surely we. If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.

Don't you realize that as long as you have to sit down to pee, you'll never be a dominant force read more

Don't you realize that as long as you have to sit down to pee, you'll never be a dominant force in the world? You'll never be a convincing technocrat or middle manager. Because people will know. She's in there sitting down.

Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequences than to have a really affectionate mother.

Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequences than to have a really affectionate mother.

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

You know, fathers just have a way of putting everything together.

You know, fathers just have a way of putting everything together.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.