America has the longest prison sentences in the West, yet the only condition long sentences demonstrably cure is heterosexuality.

America has the longest prison sentences in the West, yet the only condition long sentences demonstrably cure is heterosexuality.

America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.

America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.

When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.

When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the read more

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.

America makes prodigious mistakes, America has colossal faults, but one thing cannot be denied: America is always on the move. read more

America makes prodigious mistakes, America has colossal faults, but one thing cannot be denied: America is always on the move. She may be going to Hell, of course, but at least she isn't standing still.

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has read more

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count read more

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it

To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I read more

To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States.

Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift"... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic read more

Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift"... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git.