Garrison Keillor

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize I'm going to read more

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize I'm going to miss mine by just a few days

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a
function.

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a
function.

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they read more

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and she had no time for read more

Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and she had no time for either