You throw a perfectly straight line at the audience and then, right at the end, you curve it. Good jokes read more

You throw a perfectly straight line at the audience and then, right at the end, you curve it. Good jokes do that.

The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already read more

The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded

I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde.

I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde.

The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.

The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.

A humorist tells himself every morning, "I hope it's going to be a rough day." When things are going well, read more

A humorist tells himself every morning, "I hope it's going to be a rough day." When things are going well, it's much harder to make the right jokes.

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.

Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any read more

Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments.

Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental read more

Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.