You throw a perfectly straight line at the audience and then, right at the end, you curve it. Good jokes read more

You throw a perfectly straight line at the audience and then, right at the end, you curve it. Good jokes do that.

A humorist tells himself every morning, "I hope it's going to be a rough day." When things are going well, read more

A humorist tells himself every morning, "I hope it's going to be a rough day." When things are going well, it's much harder to make the right jokes.

I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde.

I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde.

Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental read more

Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.

The shortest distance between two jokes makes a perfect speech.

The shortest distance between two jokes makes a perfect speech.

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.

The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.

The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.

"He started hating me, cause I couldn't laugh at his jokes. I just started finding it impossible to laugh at read more

"He started hating me, cause I couldn't laugh at his jokes. I just started finding it impossible to laugh at his jokes the way I used to."

The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow.

The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow.