I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde.

I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde.

Dreaming of a to-morrow, which to-morrow
Will be as distant then as 'tis to-day.
- Lope read more

Dreaming of a to-morrow, which to-morrow
Will be as distant then as 'tis to-day.
- Lope Felix de Vega Carpio ("Tome Burguillos"),

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

In a crisis, don't hide behind anything or anybody. They're going to find you anyway.

In a crisis, don't hide behind anything or anybody. They're going to find you anyway.

Far off I hear the crowing of the cocks,
And through the opening door that time unlocks
read more

Far off I hear the crowing of the cocks,
And through the opening door that time unlocks
Feel the fresh breathing of To-morrow creep.

Tomorrow do thy worst, I have lived today.

Tomorrow do thy worst, I have lived today.

The shortest distance between two jokes makes a perfect speech.

The shortest distance between two jokes makes a perfect speech.

Some say "to-morrow" never comes,
A saying oft thought right;
But if to-morrow never came,
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Some say "to-morrow" never comes,
A saying oft thought right;
But if to-morrow never came,
No end were of "to-night."
The fact is this, time flies so fast,
That e'er we've time to say
"To-morrow's come," presto! behold!
"To-morrow" proves "To-day."

Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any read more

Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments.