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To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if read more

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, 'Hey, can you give me a hand?' you can say, 'Sorry, got these sacks.'

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.

I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.

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Those who are serious in ridiculous matters will be ridiculous in serious matters.

Those who are serious in ridiculous matters will be ridiculous in serious matters.

by Cato The Elder Found in: Humor Quotes,
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I believe in human dignity as the source of national purpose, human liberty as the source of national action, the read more

I believe in human dignity as the source of national purpose, human liberty as the source of national action, the human heart as the source of national compassion, and in the human mind as the source of our invention and our ideas

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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

by George Carlin Found in: Humor Quotes,
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My mother was awarded the Serbian medal of freedom
for raising 3 dysfunctional Croatian sons.

My mother was awarded the Serbian medal of freedom
for raising 3 dysfunctional Croatian sons.

by Fd Found in: Humor Quotes,
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If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw read more

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.

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Wit is cultured insolence.

Wit is cultured insolence.

by Aristotle Found in: Humor Quotes, Wit Quotes,
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A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself.

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself.

by Clifton Fadiman Found in: Humor Quotes,
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