Mark Twain

Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

All I say is, kings is kings, and you got to make allowances. Take them all around, they're a mighty read more

All I say is, kings is kings, and you got to make allowances. Take them all around, they're a mighty ornery lot. It's the way they're raised.

When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear.

When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear.

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

I said there was nothing so convincing to an Indian as a general massacre. If he could not approve of read more

I said there was nothing so convincing to an Indian as a general massacre. If he could not approve of the massacre, I said the next surest thing for an Indian was soap and education. Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run; because a half-massacred Indian may recover, but if you educate him and wash him, it is bound to finish him some time or other.