Mark Twain

All say, "How hard it is that we have to die"--a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people read more

All say, "How hard it is that we have to die"--a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live.

Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.

Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.

Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination

Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

Etiquette tip: More people will get out of your way if you say "I'm gonna puke!" than if you say read more

Etiquette tip: More people will get out of your way if you say "I'm gonna puke!" than if you say "Excuse me".