Mark Twain

In Boston they ask, how much does he know? In New York, how much is he worth? In Philadelphia, who read more

In Boston they ask, how much does he know? In New York, how much is he worth? In Philadelphia, who were his parents?

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old read more

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is read more

Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with a cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

All say, "How hard it is that we have to die" - a strange complaint to come from the mouths read more

All say, "How hard it is that we have to die" - a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live.

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not read more

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved.