Jack Handy

Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he read more

Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.

Whether they find a life there or not, I think Jupiter should be called an enemy planet.

Whether they find a life there or not, I think Jupiter should be called an enemy planet.

I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out read more

I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.