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To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it read more
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.
I'd rather be rich than stupid.
I'd rather be rich than stupid.
I'd like to be buried Indian-style, where they put you up on a high rack, above the ground. That way, read more
I'd like to be buried Indian-style, where they put you up on a high rack, above the ground. That way, you could get hit by meteorites and not even feel it.
If men cease to believe that they will one day become gods then they will surely become worms.
If men cease to believe that they will one day become gods then they will surely become worms.
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold read more
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby.".
Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.
Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.
If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to read more
If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we build to that.
I guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all read more
I guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, "I helped skin Bob.".
Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by read more
Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.