Maxioms Pet

X

Maxioms by Jack Handy

  ( comments )
  20  /  20  

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold read more

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby.".

by Jack Handy Found in: Deep thoughts Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  14  /  20  

Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long read more

Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.

by Jack Handy Found in: Deep thoughts Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  13  /  26  

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

by Jack Handy Found in: Deep thoughts Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  22  /  27  

I scrambled to the top of the precipice where Nick was waiting. "That was fun," I said. "You bet it read more

I scrambled to the top of the precipice where Nick was waiting. "That was fun," I said. "You bet it was," said Nick. "Let's climb higher." "No," I said. "I think we should be heading back now." "We have time," Nick insisted. I said we didn't, and Nick said we did. We argued back and forth like that for about 20 minutes, then finally decided to head back. I didn't say it was an interesting story.

by Jack Handy Found in: Deep thoughts Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  10  /  13  

I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see read more

I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals

by Jack Handy Found in: Opera Quotes,
Share to:
Maxioms Web Pet