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Maxioms by George Carlin

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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is read more

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

by George Carlin Found in: Driving Quotes,
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... And what about Zombies? You never hear from Zombies! That's the trouble with Zombies, they're unreliable! I say if read more

... And what about Zombies? You never hear from Zombies! That's the trouble with Zombies, they're unreliable! I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well..

by George Carlin Found in: Zombies Quotes,
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt read more

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

by George Carlin Found in: Doctors Quotes,
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

by George Carlin Found in: Morning Quotes,
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The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity

The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity

by George Carlin Found in: Advertising Quotes,
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