Dave Barry

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise read more

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to save read more

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base.

A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer

A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer

It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his read more

It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mercedes. Ask about the competence of his mechanic. Don't be shy! After all, you're paying for it.