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Maxioms by Dave Barry

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My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.

by Dave Barry Found in: Chess Quotes,
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Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

by Dave Barry Found in: Scientists Quotes,
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You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My read more

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My God, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!'

by Dave Barry Found in: Pets Quotes,
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One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can read more

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet

by Dave Barry Found in: Technology Quotes,
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We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count read more

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.

by Dave Barry Found in: Government Quotes,
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