Dave Barry

Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.

Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who read more

I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding.

New York Taxi Rules:1. Driver speaks no English.2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace like Segal.3. Driver read more

New York Taxi Rules:1. Driver speaks no English.2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace like Segal.3. Driver hates you.

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out read more

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.