Dave Barry

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any read more

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

People in the computer industry use the term 'user,' which to them means 'idiot.'.

People in the computer industry use the term 'user,' which to them means 'idiot.'.

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to save read more

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base.

What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any read more

What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a 'modem', can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo