Dave Barry

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the read more

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer

A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer

I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who read more

I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding.

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and read more

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks