I was such an ugly kid - When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up

I was such an ugly kid - When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up

Drinking beer doesn't make you fat, It makes you lean....Against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.

Drinking beer doesn't make you fat, It makes you lean....Against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.

You will always be your child's favorite toy

You will always be your child's favorite toy

Prudence must not be expected from a man who is never sober.
[Lat., Non est ab homine nunquam sobrio read more

Prudence must not be expected from a man who is never sober.
[Lat., Non est ab homine nunquam sobrio postulanda prudentia.]

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve read more

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

Of course one should not drink much, but often.

Of course one should not drink much, but often.

Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them.

Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them.

If after the manner of men I have fought with beasts at Ephesus,
what advantageth it me, if the read more

If after the manner of men I have fought with beasts at Ephesus,
what advantageth it me, if the dead rise not? let us eat and
drink; for to morrow we die.