You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float.

You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float.

And broughte of mighty ale a large quart.

And broughte of mighty ale a large quart.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Here
With my beer
I sit,
While golden moments flit:
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Here
With my beer
I sit,
While golden moments flit:
Alas!
They pass
Unheeded by:
And as they fly,
I,
Being dry,
Sit, idly sipping here
My beer.

"Wery good power o' suction, Sammy," said Mr. Weller the
elder. . . . "You'd ha' made an uncommon read more

"Wery good power o' suction, Sammy," said Mr. Weller the
elder. . . . "You'd ha' made an uncommon fine oyster, Sammy, if
you'd been born in that station o' life."

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.