Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken.

Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken.

Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching.

Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching.

All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay. Bring me read more

All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.'

Fans don't boo nobodies.

Fans don't boo nobodies.

Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you.

Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you.

The guy with the biggest stomach will be the first to take off his shirt at a baseball game.

The guy with the biggest stomach will be the first to take off his shirt at a baseball game.

Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.

Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.

Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. Home plate don't move.

Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. Home plate don't move.

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to save read more

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base.