Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.

Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.

Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken.

Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken.

They say some of my stars drink whiskey. But I have found that the ones who drink milkshakes don't win read more

They say some of my stars drink whiskey. But I have found that the ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ballgames.

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many players read more

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many players on the field?

Fans don't boo nobodies.

Fans don't boo nobodies.

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night read more

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it.

You can learn little from victory. You can learn everything from defeat.

You can learn little from victory. You can learn everything from defeat.

The guy with the biggest stomach will be the first to take off his shirt at a baseball game.

The guy with the biggest stomach will be the first to take off his shirt at a baseball game.

Slump? I ain't in no slump... I just ain't hitting.

Slump? I ain't in no slump... I just ain't hitting.