You wouldn't have won if we'd beaten you.

You wouldn't have won if we'd beaten you.

There isn't a flaw in his golf or his makeup. He will win more majors than Arnold Palmer and me read more

There isn't a flaw in his golf or his makeup. He will win more majors than Arnold Palmer and me combined. Somebody is going to dust my records. It might as well be Tiger, because he's such a great kid.

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.

The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

I've won at every level, except college and pro.

I've won at every level, except college and pro.

There's nothing that a tight forward likes more than a loosie right up his backside

There's nothing that a tight forward likes more than a loosie right up his backside

Are you any relation to your brother Marv?
(spoken to announcer Steve Albert)

Are you any relation to your brother Marv?
(spoken to announcer Steve Albert)

If I weren't earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in read more

If I weren't earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming.

Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject.
(recounting what he told a player read more

Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject.
(recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D)