The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

Slumps are like a soft bed. They're easy to get into and hard to get out of.

Slumps are like a soft bed. They're easy to get into and hard to get out of.

Thou shalt not covet; but tradition approves all forms of competition.

Thou shalt not covet; but tradition approves all forms of competition.

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.

The first thing is to love your sport. Never do it to please someone else. It has to be yours.

The first thing is to love your sport. Never do it to please someone else. It has to be yours.

It's a round ball and a round bat, and you got to hit it square.

It's a round ball and a round bat, and you got to hit it square.

If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.

If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.

Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.

Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.

They pay me to practice. Sundays I play for free.
(explaining his contractual obligations)

They pay me to practice. Sundays I play for free.
(explaining his contractual obligations)