The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

Winning is not a sometime thing; it’s an all time thing. You don’t win once in a while, you don’t read more

Winning is not a sometime thing; it’s an all time thing. You don’t win once in a while, you don’t do things right once in a while, you do them right all the time. Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.

I don't know anything that builds the will to win better than competitive sports.

I don't know anything that builds the will to win better than competitive sports.

If you're trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I've had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don't have read more

If you're trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I've had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Don't forget to swing hard, in case you hit the ball.

Don't forget to swing hard, in case you hit the ball.

Football is violence and cold weather and sex and college rye.

Football is violence and cold weather and sex and college rye.

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their read more

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids read more

I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me.
(on being a role model)

Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game.

Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game.