The only one who can beat me is me.

The only one who can beat me is me.

You know it's going to hell when the best rapper out there is white and the best golfer is black.

You know it's going to hell when the best rapper out there is white and the best golfer is black.

I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.
(When asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf)

I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.
(When asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf)

Are you any relation to your brother Marv?
(spoken to announcer Steve Albert)

Are you any relation to your brother Marv?
(spoken to announcer Steve Albert)

Hail Caesar, those who are about to die salute you.

Hail Caesar, those who are about to die salute you.

Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.

Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.

My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.
(explaining read more

My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.
(explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice, 1982)

How can we hope to remain economically competitive in a world in which... 90% of Dutch high-school students take advanced read more

How can we hope to remain economically competitive in a world in which... 90% of Dutch high-school students take advanced math courses and 100% of teachers in Germany have double majors, while the best we can say about our pocket of excellence is that 75% of [American] students have learned to critique tactfully?.

Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game.

Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game.