In my country we go to prison first and then become President.

In my country we go to prison first and then become President.

I'm President of the United States, and I'm not going to eat any
more broccoli!

I'm President of the United States, and I'm not going to eat any
more broccoli!

I'm Jimmy Carter, and I'm going to be your next president.

I'm Jimmy Carter, and I'm going to be your next president.

Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, read more

Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, 'Psst. That's the Secret Service.'

The vice-presidency isn't worth a pitcher of warm piss.

The vice-presidency isn't worth a pitcher of warm piss.

I also wish that the Pledge of Allegiance were directed at the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, as it read more

I also wish that the Pledge of Allegiance were directed at the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, as it is when the President takes his oath of office, rather than to the flag and the nation

President Bush left for Canada today to attend a trade summit. Reportedly, the trade summit got off to an awkward read more

President Bush left for Canada today to attend a trade summit. Reportedly, the trade summit got off to an awkward start when the president pulled out his baseball cards.

In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks
you take.

In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks
you take.

We have a cancer within, close to the Presidency, that is
growing.

We have a cancer within, close to the Presidency, that is
growing.