You really have to experience the feeling of being with the
president in the oval office. . . . read more

You really have to experience the feeling of being with the
president in the oval office. . . . It's a disease I came to call
Ovalitis.

President Bush left for Canada today to attend a trade summit. Reportedly, the trade summit got off to an awkward read more

President Bush left for Canada today to attend a trade summit. Reportedly, the trade summit got off to an awkward start when the president pulled out his baseball cards.

No easy problems ever come to the President of the United States.
If they are easy to solve, somebody read more

No easy problems ever come to the President of the United States.
If they are easy to solve, somebody else has solved them.

The President is merely the most important among a large number
of public servants. He should be supported or read more

The President is merely the most important among a large number
of public servants. He should be supported or opposed exactly to
the degree which is warranted by his good conduct or bad conduct,
his efficiency or inefficiency in rendering loyal, able, and
disinterested service to the nation as a whole. Therefore it is
absolutely necessary that there should be full liberty to tell
the truth about his acts, and this means that it is exactly as
necessary to blame him when he does wrong as to praise him when
he does right. Any other attitude in an American citizen is both
base and servile. To announce that there must be no criticism of
the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or
wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally
treasonable to the American public. Nothing but the truth should
be spoken about him or any one else. But it is even more
important to tell the truth, pleasant or unpleasant, about him
than about any one else.

I'm Jimmy Carter, and I'm going to be your next president.

I'm Jimmy Carter, and I'm going to be your next president.

President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks it is important for a read more

President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks it is important for a president to spend time away from Washington. Or at least that's what Dick Cheney told him.

In my country we go to prison first and then become President.

In my country we go to prison first and then become President.

Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, read more

Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, 'Psst. That's the Secret Service.'

The vice-presidency isn't worth a pitcher of warm piss.

The vice-presidency isn't worth a pitcher of warm piss.