I also wish that the Pledge of Allegiance were directed at the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, as it read more

I also wish that the Pledge of Allegiance were directed at the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, as it is when the President takes his oath of office, rather than to the flag and the nation

I'm President of the United States, and I'm not going to eat any
more broccoli!

I'm President of the United States, and I'm not going to eat any
more broccoli!

You really have to experience the feeling of being with the
president in the oval office. . . . read more

You really have to experience the feeling of being with the
president in the oval office. . . . It's a disease I came to call
Ovalitis.

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

All the president is, is a glorified public relations man who spends his time flattering, kissing, and kicking people to read more

All the president is, is a glorified public relations man who spends his time flattering, kissing, and kicking people to get them to do what they are supposed to do anyway.

Somewhere out in this audience may even be someone who will one day follow in my footsteps, and preside over read more

Somewhere out in this audience may even be someone who will one day follow in my footsteps, and preside over the White House as the president's spouse. I wish him well.

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.

I'm Jimmy Carter, and I'm going to be your next president.

I'm Jimmy Carter, and I'm going to be your next president.

The vice-presidency isn't worth a pitcher of warm piss.

The vice-presidency isn't worth a pitcher of warm piss.