I'm Jimmy Carter, and I'm going to be your next president.

I'm Jimmy Carter, and I'm going to be your next president.

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks
you take.

In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks
you take.

Somewhere out in this audience may even be someone who will one day follow in my footsteps, and preside over read more

Somewhere out in this audience may even be someone who will one day follow in my footsteps, and preside over the White House as the president's spouse. I wish him well.

President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks it is important for a read more

President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks it is important for a president to spend time away from Washington. Or at least that's what Dick Cheney told him.

All the president is, is a glorified public relations man who spends his time flattering, kissing, and kicking people to read more

All the president is, is a glorified public relations man who spends his time flattering, kissing, and kicking people to get them to do what they are supposed to do anyway.

The vice-presidency isn't worth a pitcher of warm piss.

The vice-presidency isn't worth a pitcher of warm piss.

A president's hardest task is not to do what is right but to know what is right

A president's hardest task is not to do what is right but to know what is right

I think "Hail to the Chief" has a nice ring to it.

I think "Hail to the Chief" has a nice ring to it.