Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.

Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.

Men don't know much about women. We do know when they're happy. We know when they're crying, and we know read more

Men don't know much about women. We do know when they're happy. We know when they're crying, and we know when they're pissed off. We just don't know in what order these are gonna come at us.

God gave women intuition and femininity. Used properly, the combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I've ever met. read more

God gave women intuition and femininity. Used properly, the combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I've ever met. -Farrah Fawcett.

Once a man is on hand, a woman tends to stop believing in her own beliefs.

Once a man is on hand, a woman tends to stop believing in her own beliefs.

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy-- the mother.

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy-- the mother.

Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.

Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.

When a girl ceases to blush, she has lost the most powerful charm of her beauty.

When a girl ceases to blush, she has lost the most powerful charm of her beauty.

Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequences than to have a really affectionate mother.

Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequences than to have a really affectionate mother.