Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who read more

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll
be happy; if not, you'll read more

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll
be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

It's not beauty but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a husband.

It's not beauty but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a husband.

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man read more

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Those who talk most about the blessings of marriage and the
constancy of its vows are the very people read more

Those who talk most about the blessings of marriage and the
constancy of its vows are the very people who declare that if the
chain were broken and the prisoners were left free to choose, the
whole social fabric would fly asunder. You can't have the
argument both ways. If the prisoner is happy, why lock him in?
If he is not, why pretend that he is?

A good marriage is like a good trade: Each thinks he got the better deal.

A good marriage is like a good trade: Each thinks he got the better deal.

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life.

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life.