No, I don't understand my husband's theory of relativity, but I know my husband, and I know he can be read more

No, I don't understand my husband's theory of relativity, but I know my husband, and I know he can be trusted.

Sometimes I think [my husband] is so amazing that I don't know why he's with me. I don't know whether read more

Sometimes I think [my husband] is so amazing that I don't know why he's with me. I don't know whether I'm good enough. But if I make him happy, then I'm everything I want to be.

There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first.

There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first.

"Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first, and if it read more

"Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first, and if it rings solid, don't hesitate."

When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.

When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.

Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended.

Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended.

I used to tell my husband that, if he could make me 'understand' something, it would be clear to all read more

I used to tell my husband that, if he could make me 'understand' something, it would be clear to all the other people in the country.

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

It's a wise husband who will buy his wife such fine china that she won't trust him to wash the read more

It's a wise husband who will buy his wife such fine china that she won't trust him to wash the dishes