"Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first, and if it read more

"Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first, and if it rings solid, don't hesitate."

No, I don't understand my husband's theory of relativity, but I know my husband, and I know he can be read more

No, I don't understand my husband's theory of relativity, but I know my husband, and I know he can be trusted.

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first.

There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first.

You can have all the intelligence in the world and don't have enough stamina. I have seen some very bright, read more

You can have all the intelligence in the world and don't have enough stamina. I have seen some very bright, bright women who do not have the stamina for husbands.

American husbands are the best in the world; no other husbands are so generous to their wives, or can be read more

American husbands are the best in the world; no other husbands are so generous to their wives, or can be so easily divorced.

Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended.

Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended.

Our society is set up so that most women lose their identities when their husbands die.

Our society is set up so that most women lose their identities when their husbands die.

I used to tell my husband that, if he could make me 'understand' something, it would be clear to all read more

I used to tell my husband that, if he could make me 'understand' something, it would be clear to all the other people in the country.