A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

"Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first, and if it read more

"Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first, and if it rings solid, don't hesitate."

I used to tell my husband that, if he could make me 'understand' something, it would be clear to all read more

I used to tell my husband that, if he could make me 'understand' something, it would be clear to all the other people in the country.

Some pray to marry the man they love, my prayer will somewhat vary; I humbly pray to Heaven above that read more

Some pray to marry the man they love, my prayer will somewhat vary; I humbly pray to Heaven above that I love the man I marry.

You can have all the intelligence in the world and don't have enough stamina. I have seen some very bright, read more

You can have all the intelligence in the world and don't have enough stamina. I have seen some very bright, bright women who do not have the stamina for husbands.

Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended.

Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended.

Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them tender.

Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them tender.

No, I don't understand my husband's theory of relativity, but I know my husband, and I know he can be read more

No, I don't understand my husband's theory of relativity, but I know my husband, and I know he can be trusted.

Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended.

Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended.