My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who has lost three husbands.

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who has lost three husbands.

There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first.

There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first.

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

I used to tell my husband that, if he could make me 'understand' something, it would be clear to all read more

I used to tell my husband that, if he could make me 'understand' something, it would be clear to all the other people in the country.

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes.

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes.

You can have all the intelligence in the world and don't have enough stamina. I have seen some very bright, read more

You can have all the intelligence in the world and don't have enough stamina. I have seen some very bright, bright women who do not have the stamina for husbands.

Some pray to marry the man they love, my prayer will somewhat vary; I humbly pray to Heaven above that read more

Some pray to marry the man they love, my prayer will somewhat vary; I humbly pray to Heaven above that I love the man I marry.

Sometimes I think [my husband] is so amazing that I don't know why he's with me. I don't know whether read more

Sometimes I think [my husband] is so amazing that I don't know why he's with me. I don't know whether I'm good enough. But if I make him happy, then I'm everything I want to be.

"Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first, and if it read more

"Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first, and if it rings solid, don't hesitate."