I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this read more

I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling.

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low read more

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea.

If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.

If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.