When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low read more

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea.

I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this read more

I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling.

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.

If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.

If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.