Drinking beer doesn't make you fat, It makes you lean....Against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.

Drinking beer doesn't make you fat, It makes you lean....Against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.

Call things by their right names - Glass of brandy and water! That is the current, but not the appropriate read more

Call things by their right names - Glass of brandy and water! That is the current, but not the appropriate name; ask for a glass of liquid fire and distilled damnation.

Get up and dance, get up and smile, get up and drink to the days that are gone in the read more

Get up and dance, get up and smile, get up and drink to the days that are gone in the shortest while.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're read more

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

Did you ever hear of Captain Wattle?
He was all for love and a little for the bottle.

Did you ever hear of Captain Wattle?
He was all for love and a little for the bottle.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

When the liquor's out, why clink the cannikin?

When the liquor's out, why clink the cannikin?

Fill up the goblet and reach to me some!
Drinking makes wise, but dry fasting makes glum.

Fill up the goblet and reach to me some!
Drinking makes wise, but dry fasting makes glum.