When treading London's well-known ground
If e'er I feel my spirits tire,
I haul my sail, look read more

When treading London's well-known ground
If e'er I feel my spirits tire,
I haul my sail, look up around,
In search of Whitbread's best entire.
- Unattributed Author,

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

What harm in drinking can there be,
Since punch and life so well agree?

What harm in drinking can there be,
Since punch and life so well agree?

And I wish his soul in heaven may dwell,
Who first invented this leathern bottel!

And I wish his soul in heaven may dwell,
Who first invented this leathern bottel!

It's a long time between drinks.

It's a long time between drinks.

You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float.

You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float.

And broughte of mighty ale a large quart.

And broughte of mighty ale a large quart.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!