I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to be an eclipse and tell the cave men, "If I have come to destroy you, may the sun be blotted out from the sky." Just then the eclipse would start, and they'd probably try to kill you or something, but then you could explain about the rotation of the moon and all, and everyone would get a good laugh.
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Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you.
Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you.
If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked read more
If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't think it would be a good idea to say, "I swallowed it. So sue me.".
Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother read more
Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.
As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch for Rocks." Marta said it should read "Watch for read more
As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch for Rocks." Marta said it should read "Watch for Pretty Rocks." I told her she should write in her suggestion to the highway department, but she started saying it was a joke - just to get out of writing a simple letter! And I thought I was lazy!
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet you could shoot beer out of you nose.
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet you could shoot beer out of you nose.
If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to read more
If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.
If you're a Thanksgiving dinner, but you don't like the stuffing or the cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend read more
If you're a Thanksgiving dinner, but you don't like the stuffing or the cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend like you're eating it, but instead, put it all in your lap and form it into a big mushy ball. Then, later, when you're out back having cigars with the boys, let out a big fake cough and throw the ball to the ground. Then say, "Boy, these are good cigars!".
Just because swans mate for life, I don't think its that big a deal. First of all, if you're a read more
Just because swans mate for life, I don't think its that big a deal. First of all, if you're a swan, you're probably not going to find a swan that looks much better than the one you've got, so why not mate for life?
I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed shrink is our friend.
I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed shrink is our friend.
